10 Confessions of a Cleaning Lady

In case I pass out from exhaustion one of these days and someone from forensics discovers me collapsed on the floor (and subsequently  trips over a mountain of unpacked-away toys), I thought it was prudent to convey a few of my inner-Cinderella confessions:

  1. To be fair, I don’t hate all of my household duties and chores.  There are some things I don’t mind doing, but other things I’d rather avoid around the house if possible.  (Some of my more house-proud friends proclaim that they mop their floors every night! But since I’m one of those girls that doesn’t even take off her make-up every night, I’m ashamed to confess that I’m lucky if I get to mop my floors once a week!)
  2. My worst thing of all has to be washing all the dishes (I procrastinate on this task much like one does with that pile of boring or ‘too hard’ work at the office, which is why I usually am left washing up the breakfast dishes close to midnight most nights!).
  3. It might be a strange little addiction but I actually get high from the smell of Dettol and other cleaning detergents. It’s a weird, guilty little pleasure, like some people get when they’re filling up with petrol.  I think I get it from my mother?!?
  4. I love cleaning bathrooms – I get a real sense of satisfaction when I finish cleaning all three bathrooms and I also get round to mopping the floors.
  5. I hate folding and sorting all the clean laundry into everyone’s cupboards – and all those odd socks KILL me!
  6. I am not fond of cooking, especially with screaming, hungry kids at my feet trying to grab the frying pan off the gas.  I’m not the best cook, but I can wing a quick dinner if I’m left undisturbed for about 15-20 minutes. And it might just be edible so long as  I don’t get distracted by a juicy phone call, which will inevitably get cut short by the smell of burning rice.
  7. I hardly ever dust - and I especially avoid ever dusting while wearing a French Maid’s costume (I think that’s the worst household chore cliché ever – much to husby’s dismay!).  I’m ashamed to confess that I haven’t swept the shelves in the living room cabinets for at least 2 months, maybe more! (Mother-in-law: please forgive me).
  8. I will not empty the waste paper baskets in the bedrooms or the garbage bin in the kitchen unless absolutely necessary, or if hubby darling is going away on business for several days – I have to draw the line somewhere. I don’t ever have a cleaner so I have to preserve my last remaining bit of dignity and class somehow!
  9. I love vacuuming.  Before I had kids I used to vacuum while listening to dance music on my iPod and dancing! But since having kids I think that would be negligent –  so now I only ever do an express-vacuum in clear view of the kids so I can keep track of them, or a full-service vacuum when husband has taken them out the house for 20 minutes on a Sunday morning so I can have some “free time” to clean the house.
  10. I would choose housework over watching the kids anytime!

On that note, I’d better go start on the washing before the clock strikes 12 and my tumble dryer turns into a pumpkin!

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